And I'm so far away.

You know that you've been gone a while when you start to notice your picture dropping down/disappearing from your friend's Top Friends lists. Just a new silly way the digital revolution reminds you of the march of time and/or your own negligence in personal relationships. I do refuse to believe though that some of the friends I made in college aren't going to be very important in my life, my whole life. Or at least 4, or 5. I've only been here for weeks so far, not yet months plural. So this past week, I was feeling really good. In love with where am I going and where I am. Thinking forward, not back. It's just that this kind of reminder that really stops you midway. I guess I had really taken for granted that big parts of my past would be in my future. Not really seeing the division between the two, the wall that only a few are willing to climb over. I've moved a lot throughout my life, leaving best friends, boyfriends behind. And not a single relationship remained intact or at least reminiscent after it was all settled. There were phone bills and letters and promises in all instances. And sincerity as well in most. But none have gone on to play any kind of a role in my life. I suppose I never thought it would be the same this time. This time the move was my decision, the destination my choice. I guess that this time any losses will be my responsibility.